10 Day YOU Challenge – 8 Fears

I’m a scaredy cat at heart…

In case you My 10 Secrets and My 9 Loves , take a peek! This “challenge” comes from Kristen’s at Glitter and Dust. I really don’t want to write this one, because I know it will be the hardest one.

8 Fears

1. A Snake in a Toilet
– I have no clue what show it was, but as a kid/young adult/teen (I can’t remember), I saw a show where a snake made it’s way through a toilet and was in the bowl. Although fake and totally for television, I have an irrational fear that a snake will come up and bite me in the cakes one day in my life. I always look in the toilet bowel before I sit down. This probably classifies me as a crazy person, but I’ll accept it and keep looking in the toilet bowl.

2. Rape – I know this is a very sensitive subject, but it is one of my biggest fears (especially as a woman). I don’t every want to feel that helpless and hurt, these are only two of the words that instantly come to mind of how I think I would feel if this (God forbid) ever happened. I know I have no control over it, but it is one of my biggest fears. I don’t avoid dark alleys, but I am cautious and try to make smart decisions to not put myself in a bad situation. For some reason, I feel completely guilty writing this. But I feel that I would be giving this justice, if I did not include it, because it terrifies me…

3. Being Stagnant – In all aspects of my life. Is there one true love? Will I always love my job? Will running always be my thing? I am fearful that I will become stagnant and not the person I am determined and destined to be. I can make choices and take action to not be stagnant, I just cannot forget that.

4. Scary Movies – I’m such a wuss! I have nightmares if I watch scary movies, even normal evening television gives me nightmares. For example, I love Criminal Minds, but I’ve woken up scared and unable to sleep for an hour because of a CM induced nightmare. I have no idea why or where this started, but it’s been pretty consistent since I was a kidlet.

5. That Poppa Bear Will Die Too Early – I say this, because of how he treats his body. He takes it for granted and doesn’t make healthy choices. I am scared that he will never get to meet his grandchildren or walk me down the isle – if/when these things happen. I’m fearful he will miss my important life events. Which is why I’m continually trying to encourage, if not yell at him, to make smarter and healthier choices. However, I am smart enough to know I cannot change a man of habits that are over 60 years old. So, I just try to remind him that I want him around for a long time. I accept death, but not when you can actively prevent it!

6. Marriage & Kids – I am fearful that this will never happen for me. I might be okay with it, but the majority of me wants it at some point. I’m am beyond fearful of what child birth will feel like and how much my life will change if I have a child. I know there are no words to describe the change, but it’s still fearful. I want both, but not as much as I had in the past…

7. Ironman – In my dreams of dreams of dreams, I could complete an Ironman. But those distances and the physical feat leave me shaking in my boots. How is my body supposed to swim so far, then do a century ride, THEN run a marathon. I know the human body and spirit can go a long way, I’m just fearful I would spend all the money and time training…and I would be able to finish! I guess I won’t ever know until I try…

8. Of Living Paycheck to Paycheck – for the rest of my life 🙁 Luckily I have a great support system that can help me when I’m in financial distress, but really…I need to get it together. I need to pull up my big girl underwear and really have a savings account, not a fluctuating one! I need to start financial planning and really try to save money for emergencies (hopefully won’t need them for this) and for a rainy day…or better yet TRAVEL!

My fears vary greatly. From trivial minor things to quite large scale issues. I know we all have fears, but it takes a second to sit and think about 8 things that you are fearful of. I’m sure there are more. Like, were spider’s deserving of a spot on the list? Probably not, because I’ve mastered the art of taking care of them, squeamish, but I get the job done!

“Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” –  FDR


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