Musings: Transparency

Sometimes I go looking on Pinterest for quotes…

Because noting is as transparent as water. // Chicago, IL 2015

…or sometimes they just pop up in my random feed. But none the less, I’m one of those girls, who bides her time by scrolling through randomness. At times, I’ve come across images or text that stop me mid-scroll and speak to me. Might sound a little dramatic, but it’s true.

As I’ve gotten older, I realized that above anything, transparency is what is important to me. I used to think it was honesty, but I think that really finds itself intertwined in transparency. It’s taken me 32 years to realize that this is the trait that I value most. For the the longest time I thought it was honesty, I thought if you were honest then you were good. I put a lot of emphasis on honesty in relationships – romantic, friends, and family. So when this was broken, it was almost, if not impossible, to bring our relationship back to any level of normalcy.

But alas, I realize I value transparency much, much more.

Be as open as air.
Unrestricted and rid all insecurities.
Transparency wins the heart.

This little verbiage was taken from a pin. It spoke volumes to me. It literally said what I’ve been trying to put into words forever. It touches on being open and honest, while also highlighting that if you are this way, then there is no need for anyone to doubt, question, or feel insecure in the what you say or do. The last part just ties it all together. I find these three sentences so perfect for any facet of life – personal, work, family, and friends.

Obviously, I don’t think you should just go telling your business to anyone and everyone, there is also something called tact, involved too. But, I feel like this is how I try to live my life, not perfectly, but definitely try. I also expect this in return, and have been known to end friendships and the potential of a male suitor if I don’t feel this is given to me.

When it comes to work and family, I think that it still fits, although on a much different emotional level. Family is family and are (for most) the easiest to be transparent with, they demand it, even if you aren’t always willing or ready to give it. At work, I’d say that this is important because it directly affects how we communicate effectively with others, as well as maintain the integrity of our work. I guess it’s a little harder to place this mindset at work, but I know that the more transparent you are in general, the easier life can be.

I think transparency comes natural to some and not to some. For me, it seems inherent. I’ve always been open about my feelings, my life, and whatever is going on…thus this blog. Yesterday I posted something personal (even though I didn’t think it was that big of a deal), but I received praise for being brave and was also told that others were surprised that I would share such a personal anecdote with the Intranets. I don’t feel brave at all! I made a mistake, worked toward fixing it, and posted about my journey in doing so. That was it. I hurt people along the way, I learned a few lessons, and I shared it. That’s it, that didn’t take bravery. As for those who are surprised by it, I still don’t get why anyone is surprised by my blog posts anymore. I’ve written some pretty emotional and honest pieces, although few and far between. Many of my close circle already knew about my debt, so sharing the story via the blog didn’t seem too far off from that. I know that I don’t know who reads this blog, but I guess I’m hoping if someone read it they can take something away from it, whatever that may be.

I know that as I get older, if get more picky about everything. So, if I don’t feel transparency in my relationship with you, then more than likely you become null and void in my life. You may not be cut out entirely, but I definitely don’t exert any additional energy into our relationship. I’m busy (said in the least narcissistic way) a lot of the time and I only want to give my time and attention to those who respect my need for transparency, because that is exactly what I will give to each and every person in my tribe!

I’m conditioned to be transparent, are you?!?


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