2019,  Diary of a Non-Cook,  Musings

Diary of a Non-Cook: I Don’t Like Cooking

There, I finally said it!

Don’t say I won’t be a good partner.
Don’t say I won’t be a good mother.
Don’t say it’ll save me money.
Don’t question my womanhood.

I’ve tried. A lot. Well…maybe a good amount. An amount that is enough for me.

It’s just not something that brings me joy. And I will no longer apologize for it. If I don’t want to cook, I just won’t. I do feel societal pressure to feel the need to cook, especially from family, friends, and my community in general.

Yes, at times it saves money. Yes, sometimes it is actually can be fun to cook. But overall, I’m just not into cooking. And I’m a woman. And becuase those two things tend to be closely tied together as a societal norm, I feel as if I have to prove that I can still be of worth.

I am fully aware I am being sensitive about it, but this is me being vulnerable right now. I feel judged because I don’t enjoy cooking. I’m not bad or awful at it, but I do lack some confidence in cooking. It seems hard for people to understand that I don’t experience joy in it. I do it. I can do it. I just prefer not too. It doesn’t make it wrong.

This is the exact reason why I created my Diary of a Non-Cook posts. They are mini celebratory wins when I do take the time to do something I don’t particularly enjoy. And yes, I do feel a societal pressure to share with you when I cook. I also feel like I have to validate my skill by qualifying if people, besides myself, enjoyed the meal. I shouldn’t care. I get it. I’m trying, but it isn’t coming so easy.

It truly is a luxury to decide if I’d like to cook or not. I get the idea of the privilege I am whining about. I like the idea of saving money from making one meal and getting five meals out of it. I enjoy setting a goal and accomplishing it. I do not judge anyone who enjoys cooking. I almost envy it, because I wish I found the same joy.

Eating out every meal isn’t an option, although I wish it was. Conversely, I’d get tired of that too. Too much of anything is never fun. I plan to just go with whatever feels right, no matter who says what to me.

I know I’m not supposed to care what people say or their judgement, but sometimes it hurts and sometimes it gets old. I know the woman I am and what works for me AND cooking all the time just isn’t it. I know it does not determine my worth, but do you? Take a step back from your judgement, this topic or any, and ask yourself why you are judging anyone else, instead of focusing on yourself.

Just some food for thought…not comsumption 😉


  • Theresa

    I can so relate to you and your dislike to cooking and the pressures you feel. As a Filipino American single woman in my 30s, I KNOW how you feel. But own it!! Youre single and have no dependants. That alone should take the pressure off! It’s OK to not like cooking. As for the negative comments and pressures from everyone…eh…learn to let it go. Don’t allow them to get to you nor hurt your feelings. There’s an unrealistic part of our culture (being Filipino and a woman) that almost dictates us to be master chefs. I call BS!! I truly feel if you want to cook, then cook. If not…then dont cook and grab a bite to eat. And be OK with it. It’s that simple. Stay strong and positive. Btw..LOVE your blog! Big fan!

    • ganeeban

      Hi! Thanks for stopping by and your kind words. There are so many societal pressures as a woman and it gets tiring. As there are for men too, but not nearly as many that revolve around domestication. Sometimes just sharing my thoughts in this space helps to grow. I do have to learn to let things go, which I’m working on — much easier said than done 😉 A Master Chef I am not, an average chef at best! HAHA! And yes, I’m just going with whatever feels best that day or that meal, no pressure to cook if I don’t want too! xoxo, SG

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