2019,  Blogging,  Musings

Musings: I Belong

Sometimes you have to tell your insecurities to shut the F up!

And go about your business, like a boss. Or at least with your head held high.

I was invited to what I originally thought was a dinner and wine event. Come to find out, it was, but it was also a photoshoot. I was lightweight stressing out because I’ve never been included in something like this.

I’ve gone to food blogger events, but the food gets the attention, not me. Not that this dinner would be focusing on me, but I would be photographed and it scared me. It also made my insecurities go through the roof.

The setting was in West Sacramento at Garden Park, which is encircled by the Park Modern homes. The golden hour lighting was the perfect backdrop for a lovely evening of good wines + good (and new) friends.

In typical fashion, I didn’t read the last two emails Kachet sent to everyone, which would have been helpful. I showed up 30 minutes early, but I did dress according to her suggestions. So it was half a win. I sat there as they were setting the gorgeous table, feeling really out of place.

I recognized some of the women and said hi to Kachet. I sat down nearby and just played on my phone until I realized I should go where everyone else was hanging out (per what one of the last emails said, fail)!

At this point, my insecurities were shooting through the roof. I kept telling myself “you don’t belong here.” Then I’d ask myself, “why did she invite you to this?”

Finally, I got so fed up with my insecurities, I literally had to throw some real self-talk at myself. I reminded myself to be present and to talk with people. I had to get out of my head and enjoy the moment, the good company, good wine, and delicious food.

Despite being a very strong extrovert, the secret introvert in me wants to flex when I’m in uncomfortable situations like this, or networking, and dating. These settings heighten my senses. A lot.

I had an amazing night after I put my insecurities to rest. Honestly, I’m embarrassed at how insecure I felt. But I’m glad I went and did something that I’ve never done before. It was easy to do, being surrounded by some of my social media lady crushes and the coolest owners of Sean Minor Wines.

I can’t even describe how cute the set-up was, my pictures don’t do it justice, but Christina Best Photography killed it with her photos.

Pasta – homemade by Katchet
Charcuterie boards – Cellar Door Platters
Various dishes – Nugget Market
Wine – Sean Minor Wines
Flowers – host creative

The one thing I enjoyed was the conversation with Nicole, the wife and co-owner of Sean Minor. It wasn’t forced and we had a variety of things in common. She was super sweet and has a child who is currently at Cal Poly. We had tons to talk about.

Conversely, there were forced conversations and small talk that I also made sure to partake in. I made sure to meet everyone there and I tried to make small talk with most of them if the opportunity presented itself. When you’re sitting at a long table, you are at the mercy of where you are sitting and who is next to you. It worked out great, but I definitely had to engage in small talk and ask probing questions to continue the conversation.

It was nice to meet all the other lovely ladies that Katchet invited. Some I’ve seen on social media, but never met. While I don’t see any of us meeting for coffee any time soon, I appreciate how she brought like-minded women together for a beautiful, golden hour Sunday dinner.

This is just my friendly reminder to you — you belong. Where ever AND whenever. You belong, no matter what that little voice in your head tells you!

It took a little self-deprecation, but I got to a good point and mindset after a bit. It helped to see a couple of familiar faces who have done this before. Everyone was kind and no one made me feel insecure at all. I just know most of the women there have large social media followings. I did that whole ‘women comparison’ and again had to stop myself. I was there because Kachet asked me to be, no better or lesser than anyone else there.

And that’s what matters. So I focused on enjoying the experience, the wine, and my evening. I didn’t want to look back and think I had a mediocre time because of my insecurities. And I don’t have to now. I am smiling thinking about the great covo + food + wine.

Thankful for uncomfortable moments that help me grow && pretty things!

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