2019,  Dating,  Friends,  Musings,  Relationships

Musings: Speed Dating

Speed dating isn’t just for RomComs.

It’s real.

It’s a thing.

And I did it…

…with two friends of course.

I’d been having different convos with different friends about the same topic over the last couple of months. All of us interested in trying it out, for the sake of trying it. Finally, Kristen did a little leg work and signed us up with My Cheeky Date.

Their website looks legit. We paid our money and got our Eventbrite tickets and waited for the day to arrive. We met at my casa and shared a bottle of wine and laughs before we headed out to the event.

None of us had any expectations. Honestly, I had none. I just wanted to try it out and flex my dating skills, since I lack them. This is so far out of my comfort zone, I knew I had to try it. I have NO problem talking to anyone, anywhere…but when you add the fact that it could result in a potential relationship, it changes the game.

We ended up at the wrong location because apparently none of us check our emails. Which is a damn lie, but I won’t point fingers at anyone 😉 We got back in a Lyft and made our way to the event.

It’s never a good sign when there are more women than men. The event was held in a very dark, dim and red-lit club/bar. It wouldn’t have been my first choice if I was hosting, but it was okay. We were late. A handful of ladies were already situated at the bar tables, ready for their dates to begin. So, Hollywood and I were asked to share a sofa and Kristen sat even farther off by herself. It was odd.

But at this point, we were already trying to make light of the situation. Drinks ordered, we sat down as the men had already been brought in and were meeting the other women.

Now that you have the set-up, here are the perspectives of the evening from Hollywood & Kristen!

Why did you sign up for speed dating?
Hollywood: I signed up for speed dating because it is on my bucket list of things to try. I thought it would be entertaining and good for a laugh. It didn’t disappoint.
Kristen: BECAUSE I NEED A MAN! j/k – I think it’s a great idea to meet new people in this type of forum.

What was the best part about speed dating?
Hollywood: Best part of speed dating was meeting new people, getting drunk and twerking for sure.
Kristen: The best part about speed dating is what in its name – the speed! Instead of 5 dates that would require setting up the date, 5 different locations, 5 different times and 15 hours or more time spent, you can instantly see if you have a connection within a short – VERY short – amount of time. Who doesn’t want that type of convenience?

Any advice for anyone else looking to speed date?
Hollywood: I think everyone should try it at least once.  Have an open mind when you go.
Kristen: Do it with friends so you can compare notes! lol

If you could give My Cheeky Date advice for their event, what would it be?
Hollywood: Have more dudes and hotter dudes.
Kristen: Take a profile pic of each date and include photo as you submit who each person matched with, provide a portion of the matchmaking feedback as a take-home for each participant (it’s hard to remember who is who and what was said!), allow for a pre-speed mixer as it was fun to get to know the guys but it was also fun meeting new single friends!

I know both of them also use online dating apps, so I asked a couple of questions comparing speed dating vs the apps and the consensus was…

Hollywood: I do use online dating apps and it is THE ABSOLUTE WORST!
Kristen: What Autumn said…

Their preference was neither when it comes to meeting men, speed dating nor online apps. They both agreed that they couldn’t be swayed either way.

As you can tell, it was an eventful night of speed dating our way through about seven men, drinks, one gentleman twerking during our date (highly encouraged by Hollywood of course), after party of burgers, new social media connections, and overall good time with new people. And yes…there is a video of said twerking…

While I doubt anyone walked away with a love connection, it was honestly a fun time. And if someone did walk away with one, congrats to them. They came, they saw, they conquered.

So, I realized I really didn’t go into the process of how you vet your dates. Essentially, you’re given a number, as is everyone. You are also given a scorecard, which is very akin to a golf scorecard. You write their numbers and names, then you select how you felt about your interaction:

  • You fancy a go
  • One more drink…maybe
  • Not really my cup of tea
  • Oh Dear…nevermind
  • Never in a million years

Kinda harsh, right? I hated this part of the evening. Mostly because I didn’t feel a connection with anyone and then I felt bad about that. Plus, a group had gathered around us and I felt awful if anyone saw what I really felt. So, I picked a few…to be nice. The epitome of my people-pleasing tendencies. Looking back, I should have been honest, so I wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or have to then turn around and say, I didn’t feel a connection if they reached out.

I’ve never been a fan of dating, online or in-person, but I doubt Mr. Right is going to find me at the gym, on the soccer field, or hanging out with friends and family. So, I know I need to be a little more proactive these days. I’m just not sure speed dating is the right fit for that. While it was all fun and shits and giggles, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time or hurt anyone’s feelings.

I got my matches super quick, like at 6 AM the next day via email. They also invited us back for free, because of the imbalance of men to women. While I don’t think this company is going to get any better at organizing their speed dating, I think we’ve decided we might as well go and do it again… it’s free and plenty of laughter was had by all.

This is 36…

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