• 2018,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Moving On

    …and letting go. This seems to be the last and hardest part of the relationship process. Obviously with a breakup, but also with any relationship ending too. Or any situation that has posed strife or hardships. While they are independent, moving on and letting go, most times one precludes the other. Not always, but sometimes. This has, by far, been the hardest thing for me to do. I can’t control it and when I do, I only makes it harder on myself. My intuition is too good, sometimes I try to ignore it. The evening I heard Juan speaking Spanish to someone on the phone late at night, I knew. My…

  • 2018,  Family,  Travel

    Musings: Travel Anxiety

    Do you have travel anxiety? I didn’t know this was a thing. One day, Juan (I believe this is who told me about this) brought up my packing style. I’m second guessing if this is whom I actually had the convo with, but the message has stuck with me, whoever it was with. The gist was when you pack a ton of stuff (or overpacking), you essentially have travel anxiety. When I first heard this it kinda made sense. I always overpack for every trip. I make up scenarios and needs for items that will not or never exist. I usually only use about 2/3 of what I bring, but I…

  • 2018,  Musings

    Musings: I Want to Be an Emotional Role Model

    I’m sure you have never put ’emotional’ before ‘role model’ before. If you have, then I’d say count yourself as one of the aware ones. When it comes to talking about emotions and vulnerability, I still feel like I have to preface this topic for those who stop by here to read my musings. I need you to know, if you think (re: judge) that talking about this stuff is a little weird, cooky, odd, or over the top [insert any adjective you’d like here] I get it, but I also know that I didn’t grow or learn by NOT talking about this stuff. I’ve learned SO MUCH by taking the time to…

  • 2018,  Family,  Musings

    Musings: Disowned at 35?

    Can your Mother disown you at 35? Asking for a friend. HAHA! Kidding, mostly! But seriously, she was a champ about it all, BUT I do know how much she detests what I did. Well, I should say what WE did. Lil and I. 35 years later, about 25 years of being told I wasn’t allowed too, Lil and I finally got our first tattoos. The permanency of a tattoo felt daunting. Is there something that you want on your body for your ENTIRE life? No going back when its there. There is one thing I always wanted, a soccer ball. However, my Mom is adamantly opposed to her daughter having…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Triathlon

    Musings: Ganeeban DOES NOT Tri in 2018

    I don’t want to write this post. I feel like a failure. I feel weak. I’ve let myself down. I’ve let you down. But I do want to honor myself. I want to honor my true self and be intentional about my actions. I know I put it out there (into the Social Media world) to keep myself accountable. I even paid for professional training. But life got messy and Triathlon training was no longer important. My six weeks of grueling Tuesday Tri training’s were intense, hard, and great growth for me to learn more about the sport. They built me up and created a newfound excitement, only to be deflated…

  • 2018,  Health,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: My (Natural) Deodorant is Giving ME Anxiety

    I don’t follow most of the fads… I think sometimes people think I don’t follow them on principle of not trying to be a cool kid. But really, if I’m not into it, I’m just not into it. And so no need in faking like for vampires (they truly scare me), books that hype up S&M or some wizard child. I’m not here to judge your liking of it all, it’s just not my thing. But I do follow some of the fads. I guess I wouldn’t call them fads, per se. After repeatedly hearing that too much soy is not good for women, guess who switched to rice milk?…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: Lash Out

    Lash out… But not in the psycho, angry at the world kinda way. Like the beautiful, lashing of your eyes! I’d been saying for a while I wanted them. I have done extensive, local research for cost and skills. This is an expensive journey to start, from the initial set to the frequency of fills. That all being said, I decided to not to go for it. Eventually, I started the process over again, trying to find a reasonable solution. I’d done three rounds of this, without following through. Mostly, because the cost seems exorbitant and I already have enough girly maintenance that’s built into my budget. I honestly couldn’t justify…

  • 2018,  Friends,  Guest Post

    Guest Post – Grow Through What You Go Through

    Friendships grow where you water them. Well, not always, but that’s okay. I could have sworn all the guest posts were from last year, only to find out they were a lot earlier than that. 2015 to 2016 was when six amazing women authored guest blog posts for me. I thought it was time to ask another friend to give it a go! As I’ve continued my journey to heal my broken heart, I’ve watered a friendship that has been a seedling for a handful of years. It wasn’t until more recently with very different, but very large things happening in our lives respectively, we found that watering our friendship has…

  • 2018,  Health,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: A Recovering Absolutist

    Black and white, all or nothing, should have or should have not… Do you ‘absolute‘ things in life? I have. I always have. It’s taken some (re: a lot) of self-reflection to understand that I am an absolutist. After doing a quick Google search about this type of thinking, it makes so much more sense why I react to certain things and situations like I do. I want to think I’m a ‘go with the flow’ type of person, but really, I’m not. I want to be and am going to work towards adopting that mentality, but it will be hard. Really effing hard. I also realized my Momma Bear…

  • 2018,  Family,  Friends,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness,  Wine

    Musings: A SURPRISE Breakup Party

    No Juan was harmed during this celebration! I feel like this type of thing only happens to Real Housewives of [insert hella different cities] or on SATC! N E V E R did I imagine my girl tribe would surprise me with a breakup party! I woke up the next day with the largest smile I’ve had in a long time and even caught myself literally laughing out loud to myself, about the antics of a wonderful evening celebrating my breakup. The group chat for the entire next day was literally giving me life and had me laughing out loud in my cubicle and at the gym! Seriously, I am…