• 2018,  Family

    Musings: Dear Dad…

    An intangible gift for my beloved Poppa Bear. Dear Dad, It’s your 35th Father’s Day! Not for any particular reason should this one be extra special, but I decided to do something different this year. Instead, I wanted to come here and share with the world (who reads my blog) my love, my appreciation, my fears, and my admiration for you. My Poppa Bear. My Dad. My Daddy. My Rock. My Protector. My Coach. My Everything. Mom, don’t get sad, you are plenty of these things and more too! I have never had to wonder what it would be like to not have you around. For that, I am eternally…

  • 2018,  Fitness,  Health,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Stop Calling it the Break Up Diet

    I’ve always joked about it….we all joke about it… But I need to stop. I think everyone should stop. It happened with my first break up in 2005. I lost some weight, cried some, and did not know how to handle my sadness of ending a six-year relationship with my first, young love. I chose to use partying to hide anything I was feeling, but I could because I was 300+ miles away from the culprit and most of my support system too. I was too young and probably immature to realize there might have been a mental health issue attached to the breakup. As cliche as it is, I…

  • 2018,  Fitness,  Running

    Race Recap(ish): The Big Run #GlobalRunningDay, 5k

    I always appreciate this day, regardless of how running is going in my life. I could have sworn it was called #NationalRunningDay, but I guess not. I looked back to last years post and it was Global Running Day too. 2016 also had the same new name. Old habits die hard, I guess. Buuuut, 2014 was actually called #NationalRunningDay! And so was 2015, I finally found a blurb about it in an old post! I always remember this day in 2014, because I’m pretty sure its the first time I actually celebrated this day. I also remember this day, because Juan and I had run to Sac State for their free fun…

  • 2018,  Fitness,  Running

    Race Recap: Women’s Fitness Festival, 10k

    I didn’t realize it’s been F O U R years since I’ve run this race. I literally thought I ran it two years ago. But, NO! I think I remember why. I actually love the reason this race exists. Women ONLY race in my favorite city, Sacramento. That’s pretty rad. Empowering. All of the good that running does for our community and for women all rolled into one event for our city. That being said. A few things I remember why I don’t generally run this race anymore. In fact, that last time I ran this race they offered the half marathon distance, back in 2014. One reason is this…

  • 2018,  Giant Race Series,  Running,  San Francisco Giants

    Race Recap: Scottsdale 5k 2018, Virtual Runner

    From October (if we are lucky) to February we dream in Orange && Black… However, we start receiving the Giant Race emails well into this quiet phase of non-baseball life. We get swept away with the ideals of a Series Sweep medal to prove we are okay spending at least $250 on running for our favorite team. We are okay with endless amounts of medals and bobbleheads because we LOVE our G-men! We do. We prove it every year. Every race. Every dollar spent. We are such SUCKERS! And I’m completely okay with it! That being said, this year, AGAIN, was not going to be a year that I’d be able to…

  • 2018,  Giant Race Series,  Running,  San Francisco Giants

    Race Recap – Riverfront 5k 2018

    No expectations, no worries. Since this race was literally one-week post break-up with J, I was still a huge emotional mess. I knew that wouldn’t stop me from physically running this race, but I also didn’t care about it. AT. ALL. Literally, it was the furthest thing from my mind. But, a commitment is a commitment and I don’t ever leave those unattended. From the lack of sleep and appetite to the emotional heartache I was dealing with, trying to comprehend a real race was truly just not something I could emotionally burn calories on. Not to mention, we were supposed to run this race together with Lil 🙁 I…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: I Had to Breakup with L too…

    I think I lost my manual somewhere. HAHA. I can’t even type that without smiling and laughing. There is NO manual for being whatever you want to call the role that I played in L’s life. Bonus Mom is probably the most accurate because I wasn’t her Step Mom. I’m not her Mom. I’m just Daddy’s girlfriend, Stephanie. That’s what I am to her. Stephanie. And I love being Stephanie to her. Although I don’t think it even needs to be said, I will say it. I never ONCE believed I was her Mom. She has a mom and I respect the role that I fell into. What NO ONE tells you…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: These Eyes

    …never saw you leaving. Who knew that sharing such raw emotions and authenticity would be so empowering, so relieving, and so helpful through a deep, dark process? It wasn’t the cure, by FAR, but it helped. The love and responses received after Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later was overwhelming in the best way possible. I did not write that post for any other person, than myself. I still, after a full month post-break-up, have a hard time saying I’m single. I have a hard time not saying we or bringing up stories of us. It’s still raw, painful, and a pit of sadness still resides inside of me. Some days are better than others, some are not. I…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later

    I think I knew it was coming… …our normal arguing seemed different this time around. His reaction to it all was very different. I’d seen him do this before. I knew what was coming next. I knew the time spent with his family, was him organizing his next steps. That fateful night, I almost didn’t have the conversation with him. I let down my fear and I opened my door (literally and figuratively) to hear what no woman in a long-term relationship wants to hear. It was over. Without grace and shamefully, over the next couple of days, I tried to talk my way through my pain and ignore what…

  • 2018,  Triathlon

    Musings: #GaneebanTris – Week 5

    All is quiet around here… …even though I am close to the end of my training program with Multisport Endurance Academy. This week was pretty normal for workouts, Midtown wise. We did have L for Spring Break, so that was a nice little and added something to our household. One exciting training moment was when I PR’d my power snatch. It was a small 0.5 kg PR, but a PR nonetheless. This is my worst lift and I’m slowly, each week, trying to add a little more weight. I couldn’t quite pull off a full snatch, but I’ll take a power snatch PR any day of the week. I think…