• 2019,  Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: You’ve Been Blessed with a Broken Heart

    But is it really a blessing?!? I’m sure that’s what some will think when they read the title of this post. And about 85% of the time I’m sure I would have said the same thing. But today, I’ve learned it has been the biggest blessing I could have ever NOT asked for! Netflix has really been coming through with some good entertainment recently. As I was looking for something new and light to watch, I saw “Someone Great” was recommended. It looked like it hit the marks for new and light, so I watched it. It’s essentially a quick rom-com about a woman who was recently dumped by her…

  • 2019,  Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: The BIG Question

    The question that everyone keeps asking me. I get it, it’s the perfunctory question that society tells us to ask someone who is recently-ish single. Akin to asking newlyweds when they are going to have children. Pls do not misconstrue this as saying this is right or what you should do, but its a societal norm — a norm we should be cognizant of and really ask ourselves if its a necessity. I know people aren’t asking for malicious reasons, they are just checking in with me. But it is awkward to answer, just as I’m sure it is a little awkward for people to ask someone else. What’s next?…

  • 2018,  Friends,  Health,  Musings,  Relationships,  Running,  Travel,  Wellness

    Musings: 2018, A Year Of…E V E R Y T H I N G

    Addio, 2018! I’m sure you assume the first thing I will say was wow what an awful year I’ve had. But you’re wrong! While some of the things that have happened felt awful, they were really blessings in disguises. Some, not all. But this year has also been filled with some of the BEST moments, memories, and adventures I’ve ever had. It has been a year of very polarizing emotions and events, but I’m leaving 2018 as a happier and healthier woman! Honesty – You chose to tell the truth, to be honest. It is a conscious decision. Whether it is a white lie or an omission, you make the…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Moving On

    …and letting go. This seems to be the last and hardest part of the relationship process. Obviously with a breakup, but also with any relationship ending too. Or any situation that has posed strife or hardships. While they are independent, moving on and letting go, most times one precludes the other. Not always, but sometimes. This has, by far, been the hardest thing for me to do. I can’t control it and when I do, I only makes it harder on myself. My intuition is too good, sometimes I try to ignore it. The evening I heard Juan speaking Spanish to someone on the phone late at night, I knew. My…

  • 2018,  Family,  Friends,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness,  Wine

    Musings: A SURPRISE Breakup Party

    No Juan was harmed during this celebration! I feel like this type of thing only happens to Real Housewives of [insert hella different cities] or on SATC! N E V E R did I imagine my girl tribe would surprise me with a breakup party! I woke up the next day with the largest smile I’ve had in a long time and even caught myself literally laughing out loud to myself, about the antics of a wonderful evening celebrating my breakup. The group chat for the entire next day was literally giving me life and had me laughing out loud in my cubicle and at the gym! Seriously, I am…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: It’s Our Breakupversary!

    Why shouldn’t one celebrate a break-up? We (kinda) celebrated (more like I did, he could have cared less) our date-aversary and our anniversary. So, hell yeah, I’m happy to have survived three full months of having my life changed with one conversation. One decision. When your break-up lands on Friday the 13th you know it’s something special 😉 Lucky me, huh? It’s okay to not be okay. It’s one thing to say it, but it’s one thing to truly believe it and FEEL it. So, here we are. A full three months since we had that fateful conversation in the early morning hours on Friday the 13th in April. That woman that sat…

  • 2018,  Family,  Musings,  Relationships

    What I Learned From Being a Bonus Mom/Daddy’s Girlfriend

    I’ve been wanting to write this for awhile… ..but over the last six-plus months this topic has been sitting in my drafts section, my life and role in L’s life have changed. So instead of talking about it in the first person, I can now write about it with reflection, since I was abruptly removed from this role. In a previous post, I said goodbye to L. I didn’t know that last time I saw L would actually be the last time I saw her. But it was. I do hope I see her in the future, but I don’t think it will happen. I have accepted it. I am where…

  • 2018,  Fitness,  Health,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Stop Calling it the Break Up Diet

    I’ve always joked about it….we all joke about it… But I need to stop. I think everyone should stop. It happened with my first break up in 2005. I lost some weight, cried some, and did not know how to handle my sadness of ending a six-year relationship with my first, young love. I chose to use partying to hide anything I was feeling, but I could because I was 300+ miles away from the culprit and most of my support system too. I was too young and probably immature to realize there might have been a mental health issue attached to the breakup. As cliche as it is, I…

  • Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: Vulnerability is Beautiful

    …and it has always been beautiful. I allowed my stigma of shame to overshadow my ability to understand this. I could never have understood this before Juan broke my heart. It took that rock bottom to learn this lesson, among others. I’ve never been this vulnerable in my entire life.  Not even with Juan. Not with anyone. I am, by my own accounts, a fairly strong woman. I am confident, I am strong, and I have a good head on my shoulders. The heartache and despair of the breakup have paralyzed me in my own shame, especially the stigma of shame. I know I am a strong woman and in my…