• Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: Babble, babble, babble…

    Today, I have nothing important to say… …but I have a lot of nothing important to say. Lots of thoughts. Lots of reflection. Lots of changing parts. Lots of seeking who I want to be. Re-learning who I am. There are a few things I know for certain. At the end of each day, I want to be proud of the person I have become. I want to be unabashedly proud of how hard and how much I loved, despite the potential hurt for giving my heart and love away so freely. I want to be proud of my life. I want to be proud of the effort I showed…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: I Had to Breakup with L too…

    I think I lost my manual somewhere. HAHA. I can’t even type that without smiling and laughing. There is NO manual for being whatever you want to call the role that I played in L’s life. Bonus Mom is probably the most accurate because I wasn’t her Step Mom. I’m not her Mom. I’m just Daddy’s girlfriend, Stephanie. That’s what I am to her. Stephanie. And I love being Stephanie to her. Although I don’t think it even needs to be said, I will say it. I never ONCE believed I was her Mom. She has a mom and I respect the role that I fell into. What NO ONE tells you…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: These Eyes

    …never saw you leaving. Who knew that sharing such raw emotions and authenticity would be so empowering, so relieving, and so helpful through a deep, dark process? It wasn’t the cure, by FAR, but it helped. The love and responses received after Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later was overwhelming in the best way possible. I did not write that post for any other person, than myself. I still, after a full month post-break-up, have a hard time saying I’m single. I have a hard time not saying we or bringing up stories of us. It’s still raw, painful, and a pit of sadness still resides inside of me. Some days are better than others, some are not. I…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later

    I think I knew it was coming… …our normal arguing seemed different this time around. His reaction to it all was very different. I’d seen him do this before. I knew what was coming next. I knew the time spent with his family, was him organizing his next steps. That fateful night, I almost didn’t have the conversation with him. I let down my fear and I opened my door (literally and figuratively) to hear what no woman in a long-term relationship wants to hear. It was over. Without grace and shamefully, over the next couple of days, I tried to talk my way through my pain and ignore what…

  • 2014,  Family,  Finances,  Musings,  Relationships,  Thinking Out Loud

    Thinking Out Loud – Cohabitation

    Sounds like something scientific, right?! Amanda at .RUNNING WITH SPOONS. Or maybe I’m just weird. Although there are some serious dynamics that go into cohabitation, they are more so on the emotional and logistical level, not so scientific.   Like many things, I’ve always had a predetermined idea about when this would be appropriate. But as I’m learning, each situation is different and you just need to go with the flow. In my mind, a year at the very minimum should be when this should be discussed, not done. However, here we are, 10 months into it and we’ve decided to make the jump.   My excitement outweighs my hesitation.…

  • 2013,  Musings,  Relationships

    The Magical Word

    So, if you are like me at all, you may be inclined to do a little research before you try something new. Don’t get ahead of yourself, when I say a little, I really mean minimal, research. So, yes I did read a few articles on online dating. All I came out with was these same few tips: 1. Add a picture. 2. Create a fun username 3. Don’t be generic or typical Easy enough right? #1, boom, done! Then came #2, username – you don’t want to scare them away with things such as “tomboy” (no ridicule to my blog namesake), and you better not put your whole name as…

  • 2013,  Relationships

    And so it goes…

    Sometimes in life, there is a moment of what I guess I could call clarity. One instance that makes you think, okay, time to do something new or make a change. Two of my best friends, yes I have multiple (we can save that debate for a different blog post), have mentioned on-line dating. My pride has always been in the way of that. However, I don’t ever go out anymore, so what am I supposed to do? Work you say, well that would be okay if there were more than 5 people in my age bracket… That being said, and after coercing a good friend to start it with…