• 2018,  Instagram,  Musings,  Social Media

    Musings: I Have a SECRET Instagram Account

    No, NOT for creeping! I can do that with my regular account. HAHA! I created an account to share the raw and authentic, yet sometimes ugly, stuff on my mind in a very ANONYMOUS way. A good friend mentioned they created an account specifically for one topic in their life. I was intrigued. VERY intrigued. I asked for the handle and it was shared with me. I loved the posts because I’ve gone through a similar experience and I appreciated the posts, captions, and responses by others. It was then that it dawned on me, this would be a helpful tool for me. My therapist has taught me to ask myself the hard…

  • 2018,  Health,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: A Recovering Absolutist

    Black and white, all or nothing, should have or should have not… Do you ‘absolute‘ things in life? I have. I always have. It’s taken some (re: a lot) of self-reflection to understand that I am an absolutist. After doing a quick Google search about this type of thinking, it makes so much more sense why I react to certain things and situations like I do. I want to think I’m a ‘go with the flow’ type of person, but really, I’m not. I want to be and am going to work towards adopting that mentality, but it will be hard. Really effing hard. I also realized my Momma Bear…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: It’s Our Breakupversary!

    Why shouldn’t one celebrate a break-up? We (kinda) celebrated (more like I did, he could have cared less) our date-aversary and our anniversary. So, hell yeah, I’m happy to have survived three full months of having my life changed with one conversation. One decision. When your break-up lands on Friday the 13th you know it’s something special 😉 Lucky me, huh? It’s okay to not be okay. It’s one thing to say it, but it’s one thing to truly believe it and FEEL it. So, here we are. A full three months since we had that fateful conversation in the early morning hours on Friday the 13th in April. That woman that sat…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: Cannabis + The Red Tent

    What in the WORLD could these two things have in common? Well, they are the themes of two events I attended last week. During my process through self-exploration and growth, I have wanted to challenge myself. Challenge my perceptions, beliefs, and perceived thoughts. It has been a challenge all right! But worth it… Cannabis as I now call it, no longer weed or marijuana, has always had a stigma with it in my mind, thoughts, and perceptions. I’ve never hidden this, but I’ve always somewhat accepted and supported friends who use this plant — recreationally or medicinally. However, I did and do have my opinions about it. As its prevalence grows, in…

  • Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: Vulnerability is Beautiful

    …and it has always been beautiful. I allowed my stigma of shame to overshadow my ability to understand this. I could never have understood this before Juan broke my heart. It took that rock bottom to learn this lesson, among others. I’ve never been this vulnerable in my entire life.  Not even with Juan. Not with anyone. I am, by my own accounts, a fairly strong woman. I am confident, I am strong, and I have a good head on my shoulders. The heartache and despair of the breakup have paralyzed me in my own shame, especially the stigma of shame. I know I am a strong woman and in my…

  • Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: Babble, babble, babble…

    Today, I have nothing important to say… …but I have a lot of nothing important to say. Lots of thoughts. Lots of reflection. Lots of changing parts. Lots of seeking who I want to be. Re-learning who I am. There are a few things I know for certain. At the end of each day, I want to be proud of the person I have become. I want to be unabashedly proud of how hard and how much I loved, despite the potential hurt for giving my heart and love away so freely. I want to be proud of my life. I want to be proud of the effort I showed…