• 2018,  Instagram,  Musings,  Social Media

    Musings: I Have a SECRET Instagram Account

    No, NOT for creeping! I can do that with my regular account. HAHA! I created an account to share the raw and authentic, yet sometimes ugly, stuff on my mind in a very ANONYMOUS way. A good friend mentioned they created an account specifically for one topic in their life. I was intrigued. VERY intrigued. I asked for the handle and it was shared with me. I loved the posts because I’ve gone through a similar experience and I appreciated the posts, captions, and responses by others. It was then that it dawned on me, this would be a helpful tool for me. My therapist has taught me to ask myself the hard…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Moving On

    …and letting go. This seems to be the last and hardest part of the relationship process. Obviously with a breakup, but also with any relationship ending too. Or any situation that has posed strife or hardships. While they are independent, moving on and letting go, most times one precludes the other. Not always, but sometimes. This has, by far, been the hardest thing for me to do. I can’t control it and when I do, I only makes it harder on myself. My intuition is too good, sometimes I try to ignore it. The evening I heard Juan speaking Spanish to someone on the phone late at night, I knew. My…

  • 2018,  Family,  Travel

    Musings: Travel Anxiety

    Do you have travel anxiety? I didn’t know this was a thing. One day, Juan (I believe this is who told me about this) brought up my packing style. I’m second guessing if this is whom I actually had the convo with, but the message has stuck with me, whoever it was with. The gist was when you pack a ton of stuff (or overpacking), you essentially have travel anxiety. When I first heard this it kinda made sense. I always overpack for every trip. I make up scenarios and needs for items that will not or never exist. I usually only use about 2/3 of what I bring, but I…

  • 2018,  Family,  Musings

    Musings: Disowned at 35?

    Can your Mother disown you at 35? Asking for a friend. HAHA! Kidding, mostly! But seriously, she was a champ about it all, BUT I do know how much she detests what I did. Well, I should say what WE did. Lil and I. 35 years later, about 25 years of being told I wasn’t allowed too, Lil and I finally got our first tattoos. The permanency of a tattoo felt daunting. Is there something that you want on your body for your ENTIRE life? No going back when its there. There is one thing I always wanted, a soccer ball. However, my Mom is adamantly opposed to her daughter having…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Triathlon

    Musings: Ganeeban DOES NOT Tri in 2018

    I don’t want to write this post. I feel like a failure. I feel weak. I’ve let myself down. I’ve let you down. But I do want to honor myself. I want to honor my true self and be intentional about my actions. I know I put it out there (into the Social Media world) to keep myself accountable. I even paid for professional training. But life got messy and Triathlon training was no longer important. My six weeks of grueling Tuesday Tri training’s were intense, hard, and great growth for me to learn more about the sport. They built me up and created a newfound excitement, only to be deflated…

  • 2018,  Health,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: My (Natural) Deodorant is Giving ME Anxiety

    I don’t follow most of the fads… I think sometimes people think I don’t follow them on principle of not trying to be a cool kid. But really, if I’m not into it, I’m just not into it. And so no need in faking like for vampires (they truly scare me), books that hype up S&M or some wizard child. I’m not here to judge your liking of it all, it’s just not my thing. But I do follow some of the fads. I guess I wouldn’t call them fads, per se. After repeatedly hearing that too much soy is not good for women, guess who switched to rice milk?…

  • 2018,  Friends,  Guest Post

    Guest Post – Grow Through What You Go Through

    Friendships grow where you water them. Well, not always, but that’s okay. I could have sworn all the guest posts were from last year, only to find out they were a lot earlier than that. 2015 to 2016 was when six amazing women authored guest blog posts for me. I thought it was time to ask another friend to give it a go! As I’ve continued my journey to heal my broken heart, I’ve watered a friendship that has been a seedling for a handful of years. It wasn’t until more recently with very different, but very large things happening in our lives respectively, we found that watering our friendship has…

  • 2018,  Health,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: A Recovering Absolutist

    Black and white, all or nothing, should have or should have not… Do you ‘absolute‘ things in life? I have. I always have. It’s taken some (re: a lot) of self-reflection to understand that I am an absolutist. After doing a quick Google search about this type of thinking, it makes so much more sense why I react to certain things and situations like I do. I want to think I’m a ‘go with the flow’ type of person, but really, I’m not. I want to be and am going to work towards adopting that mentality, but it will be hard. Really effing hard. I also realized my Momma Bear…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: It’s Our Breakupversary!

    Why shouldn’t one celebrate a break-up? We (kinda) celebrated (more like I did, he could have cared less) our date-aversary and our anniversary. So, hell yeah, I’m happy to have survived three full months of having my life changed with one conversation. One decision. When your break-up lands on Friday the 13th you know it’s something special 😉 Lucky me, huh? It’s okay to not be okay. It’s one thing to say it, but it’s one thing to truly believe it and FEEL it. So, here we are. A full three months since we had that fateful conversation in the early morning hours on Friday the 13th in April. That woman that sat…

  • 2018,  Family,  Musings,  Relationships

    What I Learned From Being a Bonus Mom/Daddy’s Girlfriend

    I’ve been wanting to write this for awhile… ..but over the last six-plus months this topic has been sitting in my drafts section, my life and role in L’s life have changed. So instead of talking about it in the first person, I can now write about it with reflection, since I was abruptly removed from this role. In a previous post, I said goodbye to L. I didn’t know that last time I saw L would actually be the last time I saw her. But it was. I do hope I see her in the future, but I don’t think it will happen. I have accepted it. I am where…