• 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: I Had to Breakup with L too…

    I think I lost my manual somewhere. HAHA. I can’t even type that without smiling and laughing. There is NO manual for being whatever you want to call the role that I played in L’s life. Bonus Mom is probably the most accurate because I wasn’t her Step Mom. I’m not her Mom. I’m just Daddy’s girlfriend, Stephanie. That’s what I am to her. Stephanie. And I love being Stephanie to her. Although I don’t think it even needs to be said, I will say it. I never ONCE believed I was her Mom. She has a mom and I respect the role that I fell into. What NO ONE tells you…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: These Eyes

    …never saw you leaving. Who knew that sharing such raw emotions and authenticity would be so empowering, so relieving, and so helpful through a deep, dark process? It wasn’t the cure, by FAR, but it helped. The love and responses received after Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later was overwhelming in the best way possible. I did not write that post for any other person, than myself. I still, after a full month post-break-up, have a hard time saying I’m single. I have a hard time not saying we or bringing up stories of us. It’s still raw, painful, and a pit of sadness still resides inside of me. Some days are better than others, some are not. I…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later

    I think I knew it was coming… …our normal arguing seemed different this time around. His reaction to it all was very different. I’d seen him do this before. I knew what was coming next. I knew the time spent with his family, was him organizing his next steps. That fateful night, I almost didn’t have the conversation with him. I let down my fear and I opened my door (literally and figuratively) to hear what no woman in a long-term relationship wants to hear. It was over. Without grace and shamefully, over the next couple of days, I tried to talk my way through my pain and ignore what…

  • 2017,  Guest Post

    Q&A Style w/ Jamee: Social Media + SO's,

    Social media lunch dates really make me smile! As I was enjoying my Matcha Lemonade and Bacon Melt with Jamee, I steered our conversation to the topic of Significant Others (SO, from here on out) and social media. I was saying (re: complaining) how after 3.5 years J has finally hit his limit with US-ies or pics in general, even being the #InstagramHusband is completely an annoyance too. I also mentioned how he doesn’t understand or really empathize with how much I enjoy SM, among other various things related to SM. To which she, “So does my Husband.” I was surprised for some reason because via SM he is super…

  • 2016,  Friends,  Musings

    Musings: A Common Denominator

    A death, a wedding reception, and a birthday… What do they all have in common? The ability to remind me that I have chosen to surround myself with a great group of friends. I’ve been told on countless occasions that it’s rare, while simultaneously being complimented, on the strength and length of my friendships. Secretly, I’m also glad that many of them have blended together and most of the various groups of friends have all become friends. Some people may say I spread myself to thin. I appreciate your opinion, but I completely beg to differ. I chose to put a huge emphasis on friendship. This isn’t to say that…

  • Uncategorized

    Musings: My Love Language

    I was embarrassed by my love language. Website I was, but in all honesty, still slightly am. I know I shouldn’t be, but it makes me feel like a materialistic brat. Which we all know is only part of the time 😉 Are you familiar with The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.? It has been popularized over the decades as a way to help relationships. My first real interaction with it was when the Bestest and her ex Boo were reading it. She raved about the book and ever since then it was in the back of my mind. J and I read it together last year, literally and…

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    Musings: Bitterness is Unbecoming

    That was my tweet the other day. Later in the evening J asked who that ‘passive aggressive’ tweet was aimed at or what it was about? Pardon me, while I get on my soapbox. I’m tired of reading/seeing (mostly) women seem so bitter. Their posts, their status’, their tweets. Men do this too, but less frequently. But the majority I have seen lately are women, maybe I tend to follow more women than men, I’ll need to look into that. This isn’t to say that I do not see lots of awesome, positive posts…because, I do! Life sucks. Life’s hard. Everyone is going through something. We all get it. Even…

  • Uncategorized

    Musings: Cohabiting – Year 1

    12 Months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8765.81 hours. To be fair, this is not even a pic of us in our house! Okay, not every waking minute of the past year has been spent living with one another, we obviously have jobs and went on vacation…and had a life. But you get the gist, we’ve officially hit the one year mark of living together. Just one year later, I can reflect on musings about moving in together. We officially signed the lease at least a week and a half before we actually moved in, but who’s counting?!? Big thanks (again and a year later) to all those amazing souls that helped…

  • Uncategorized

    Musings: Transparency

    Sometimes I go looking on Pinterest for quotes… Because noting is as transparent as water. // Chicago, IL 2015 …or sometimes they just pop up in my random feed. But none the less, I’m one of those girls, who bides her time by scrolling through randomness. At times, I’ve come across images or text that stop me mid-scroll and speak to me. Might sound a little dramatic, but it’s true. As I’ve gotten older, I realized that above anything, transparency is what is important to me. I used to think it was honesty, but I think that really finds itself intertwined in transparency. It’s taken me 32 years to realize…

  • 2015,  Musings

    Musings: Dating Someone with a Child

    In the past, I would run……literally and figuratively. Let’s just say I was quasi-dating someone who had a child and at one point I saw him (and his friend) downtown and I ran. I grabbed my best friend and we ran the opposite way. That was a huge indicator that I probably wasn’t ready to date anyone with a child. I knew I wasn’t, but I felt bad that was the reason I didn’t want to date said person. I was open and honest about how I felt, prior to my escape route, but I kept at it to be nice. Fast forward to last year. I knew J had…