• 2019,  Mental Health,  Musings,  Uncategorized

    Musings: Expectations

    Everyone has them, but not everyone lives up to them. Scrolling through IG stories, I came across a story that put one of life’s biggest lessons so simple: Stop expecting YOU from people. When I read that, I was like, “THIS is what I’ve been trying to articulate for forever!” This is one of my biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 30’s. It’s taken that long for me to realize this and I am trying not to judge myself for this, but I’m just grateful I know it now. It doesn’t make it any easier when I feel let down. But it is teaching me to release expectations. Or at…

  • 2019,  Career,  Musings,  Wellness

    Musings: ENFP

    I’m going to start using Myers-Briggs to vet potential dates! I haven’t heard four letters thrown around so freely until I started at my current employer. I’ve taken the test a handful of times, on my own accord. But I’ve never had my employer be such a huge advocate for Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). They encourage us to find ours, then they go deeper and teach you to communicate and learn from other types. I enjoy professional development, probably more than most. I was really excited to sign up for this course and to solidify which four letters would be assigned to me. Little did I know, they aren’t assigned…

  • 2019,  Health,  Mental Health,  Therapy

    Musings: Let’s Talk About Therapy

    I’m just a girl who needed a therapist and decided to talk openly about it. I’m honored that people have reached out to me in regards to my experience with therapy and finding a therapist. I am not an expert and am still in the fresh stages of therapy, less than one year. But I would love to share my experience if it help others. Since I chose to be very open about my mental health post-breakup, a handful of friends and acquaintances have reached out about the details of my experience with therapy. While I believe sharing my truth is also being authentic with those around me, it has…

  • 2019,  Dallas,  Musings,  New York,  Travel

    Musings: Life is Like My AWAY Luggage

    Saying ‘you have baggage’ is way overplayed. But in all seriousness, as I was painfully sitting through my three-hour layover in Dallas waiting to get home after eight days in New York, I got to thinking. Yes, randomly thinking about life, musing to myself. Unlike my AWAY luggage, the bumps and bruises of my life are hidden behind my brown skin. If you look at my AWAY luggage, it is no longer the pristine pale pink it once was when I first received it. It has colorful scrapes, luckily no dents yet. But what those scrapes can’t tell you is it has been to Italy, Orange County, and New York.…

  • 2019,  Health,  Musings,  Travel

    Musings: Verbal Download

    I haven’t done a purging of thoughts in a while, so here I am. Buckle up and get ready for the randomness train… Food Musings – Do men think about their bodies and food as much as women? This was a question I’ve posed to a few friends. Of course, the immediate answer is no. We’ve come to the conclusion that men don’t sit idle thinking about their weight, their body, and their food intake. I’m sure it passes through their consciousness, but they don’t dwell as women do. It’s almost as if I am re-programming myself to have positive thoughts about food. Why do we call food ‘bad?’ Why…

  • 2019,  Musings

    Musings: What Do Boundaries Feel Like?

    B O U N D A R I E S. Say it with me. Bound. A. Ries. When I was asked about them, of course I knew the word. But I also knew my therapist wasn’t referring to when I use a stick to draw a line in the ground, which determines what is your side and what is my side. No, she meant emotional boundaries. Personal boundaries, but not limted by physcial space. BUT space is included in this encompasing idea we were disucssing. It was as if I was learning a whole new idea, even though I already ‘thought’ I knew the idea. I had no idea. I…

  • 2018,  Musings,  Relationships,  Wellness

    Musings: Moving On

    …and letting go. This seems to be the last and hardest part of the relationship process. Obviously with a breakup, but also with any relationship ending too. Or any situation that has posed strife or hardships. While they are independent, moving on and letting go, most times one precludes the other. Not always, but sometimes. This has, by far, been the hardest thing for me to do. I can’t control it and when I do, I only makes it harder on myself. My intuition is too good, sometimes I try to ignore it. The evening I heard Juan speaking Spanish to someone on the phone late at night, I knew. My…

  • Musings,  Relationships

    Musings: Vulnerability is Beautiful

    …and it has always been beautiful. I allowed my stigma of shame to overshadow my ability to understand this. I could never have understood this before Juan broke my heart. It took that rock bottom to learn this lesson, among others. I’ve never been this vulnerable in my entire life.  Not even with Juan. Not with anyone. I am, by my own accounts, a fairly strong woman. I am confident, I am strong, and I have a good head on my shoulders. The heartache and despair of the breakup have paralyzed me in my own shame, especially the stigma of shame. I know I am a strong woman and in my…

  • 2018,  Relationships

    Musings: These Eyes

    …never saw you leaving. Who knew that sharing such raw emotions and authenticity would be so empowering, so relieving, and so helpful through a deep, dark process? It wasn’t the cure, by FAR, but it helped. The love and responses received after Musings: Hundreds in Therapy, Later was overwhelming in the best way possible. I did not write that post for any other person, than myself. I still, after a full month post-break-up, have a hard time saying I’m single. I have a hard time not saying we or bringing up stories of us. It’s still raw, painful, and a pit of sadness still resides inside of me. Some days are better than others, some are not. I…